State of mind

i am lazy
i am scared
i'm confused
i'm so unsure
i am self destructive

i think too much
i think too little
i don't know what
i want to know
i don't know what
i'm talking about

i am driven
demotivated

i am shallow
i am deep
i'm not awake
not asleep

i feel fine
i don't feel
i am numb
but not enough

i am shrinking
vaporising
sinking
but just not enough

i don't know what's going on
i don't know what to do
i'm in between worlds
can't cross the river

i am bad but not enough
i am good but not enough

i am not happy
i am not sad
i'm not sane
i am not mad

i am just not
enthusiastic enough to live...